Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Curious Case of the Alcoholic X-Rays

It reminded me of something out of a Sherlock Holmes novel. As I headed to bed one night I turned off the lights and locked the door. The wife and the boy were already asleep so I didn't expect the house to be much different in the morning when I was the first one to rise and shine. Mostly rise without a lot of shine since I'm not really much of a morning person before the crack of noon.

My computer desk is in the kitchen and I have folders full of X-rays and MRI's standing upright on the floor leaning on the side of the desk as they are too large to fit in any of the drawers. I awoke that morning, (awoke being a relative term) took a shower and headed out to the kitchen. As I stepped into the room I saw between 40 and 50 pieces of film strewn about the kitchen table and counter tops. The kicker was that the entire room smelled like alcohol. Surely a mystery worthy of Mr. Holmes. The game was afoot!

I didn't have to wait long for an answer...of sorts. A few hours after arriving at my place of business I received the following email from the wife (This is real, I swear. I couldn't make this stuff up):

>>>Man on man… I can not win with these feet!!!
I got up last night around 1am. I was standing by the sink and next thing I knew I was stumbling across the floor and slammed into the white shelf unit and banged my knee, hand and big toe on the right foot. Ricky came out to help me and walked in and said, I didn’t know there was broken glass? I didn’t know that either!
It turns out I must have slammed into the Saki bottle and sent it sailing towards the desk. Liquid all over and big & small pieces of glass all over. Then he noticed the x-rays were soaking up the Saki so we had to remove each and every one and dry and spread out to dry.
Such a big mess. Then I see that me knee is cut and all bruised and my foot (big toe) is killing me. I figured it was broken. I took off the bandage that was trying to “train” it. That really hurt!
I am having a hard time walking on it, probably should get it x-rayed. As more time goes by I can feel more places that I am bruised. Just felt more on my left elbow and my right back hip, don’t ask how that is possible??? Cause I don’t know!<<< Ah, mystery solved you say? Indeed not. The more inquisitive of you are now asking why was she "training" her toe and what was she training it to do? As you can see, with the wife one never knows. The plot thickens.........
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