Saturday, October 1, 2011

A New Religion

Tomism shall be the name of the faith and the faith shall be known as Tomism. It shall be pronounced with a long O as in Tome-ism and the holy book shall be known as the Tome Tome.

Here's the basic principle: If there is a god, I will be lifted to the heavens when I meet my earthly demise. If not, I'm glad I didn't spend a lot of time worshiping. If I do go to heaven then I'll be like God's sidekick. He'll want to hang with me because I'm the only one that will tell jokes and prank Him. Everyone else will be just sitting there in awe as they bask in His glory while I slip the whoopee cushion onto the heavenly throne. (For Him, you have to pick the pranks that never get old.)