Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm Pregnant!!

Imagine? I can't. It would be the weirdest thing ever.

First you start by bleeding 4 or 5 days out of the month. That's got to be weird enough. Then, when you finally have a month that you stop bleeding, you would think the first thing that would come to mind would be "Whew, I'm glad that's over!" But no, the first thing that comes to mind is to run into the bathroom and pee on a stick to see if it changes color.

The stick peeing, however, is a lose / lose situation. If it doesn't change color, you're going to start bleeding again. If it does change color then you have a living creature growing inside you. The only thing I can relate this to is the movie Alien where an affected crew member has a creature growing inside him which eventually bursts out of his chest and starts screaming. Really all you have to do is take that sentence and replace the word chest with vagina and you have pregnant. How crazy would it be to have someone growing in you for nine months and then have that person crawl out of a hole in your body? It sounds like something out of a bad Monty Python skit.