Off to the doctor who asked "Have you eaten anything unusual lately?". The wife paused and then said "Well, we did have Chipotle." As the doctor raised her head in interest, I added "Six days in a row!" At that point the doctor stopped her examination and looked at us like we were idiots. I shrugged my shoulders, threw my hands up and said "What?"
|Ingredient bar - click to enlarge|
So we waited a few days for the swelling to go down before we went back to eat there again. A prudent decision on our part I think. Then it was off to the local Chipotle where the burrito maker doesn't like the wife. Why? Because she's very particular and very indecisive and always has a special order. She thinks of the menu as ingredients for her to make up her own recipes. And while there is no problem with special orders at a nice sit-down restaurant, the wife thinks she can do it even when the only menu is a lit up board behind the counter while 15 people wait in line to her rear.
I knew it was coming, so I jumped in front of the wife to get my order before she pissed him off again. Chivalry be damned, I wanted to make sure I got my burrito without a side of saliva in it. The wife stepped up and asked the burrito man if she could get rice without salt on it. Surprisingly, the normally rude employee said he could get her rice without salt by opening a new steamed rice container and giving her some before it hit the stove. He talked to the cook and after a few minutes he had a fresh, unsalted, bowl of rice ready to go.
|"There's salt on everything!"|
"Yes there's salt in the beans and no, I can't take the salt out." the burrito man said sharply. The wife started to ask about the bell peppers and onions. Seeing where this was headed, the burrito man cut her off mid-sentence and said "There is salt on everything!" "EVERYTHING!" he said as he waved his hands repeatedly over all the ingredients that lay before him. "Oh", the wife said, "I'll have it all anyway."
Onward and upward. The wife decides she wants frozen yogurt for dessert. Can't stand the stuff myself. She has a variety of places to go but tonight she wants Frapy's because she has bought ten of them and had her little card punched each time, making her eligible for a free one. At this store, you pour your own yogurt and they charge you by the weight.
|Our local franchise owner at his store|
A few minutes later the kid behind the counters blurts out "Oh my god!" and as I turn to look, I see the wife walking up to the counter with what looks like a yogurt Eiffel Tower in her hands. The yogurt is piled so high that she's swaying back and forth trying to balance it so it won't tip over and she's stutter stepping like she's doing a high wire act. It was two feet high in a 5 inch cup. Other people in the store were clapping and cheering like she'd set the Guinness world record! All the kid could say was "Wow! I've never seen anything like that before!" Moral of the story: If it's free, the wife is going to get her money's worth.