Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Wife Shorts

The wife with friends
The wife and I took a vacation and went here because we live in a vacation hotspot. Going to here saved us a lot in travel and hotel costs.

First stop the San Diego Zoo. We were getting off the tour bus and the people behind us waited for us to get off first. The wife told them to go ahead so she wouldn't be rushed, but they politely insisted. The wife, who was now in panic mode, forgot there was a step down from the seat to the aisle and went down faster than a five dollar hooker. She hit the deck hard and put a nice bruise on her leg from her hip to her knee!

Off to Disney. The first few hours were uneventful. Then we hopped on the train and headed over to Fantasyland. As we stepped off the train the wife saw a ride with a really short line on it and scurried over as fast as her little feet would shuffle. She waved excitedly for me to hurry over to get on "The Mad Hatter" ride. As you can imagine, she was very disappointed to find out it was not a ride, but a souvenir shop. Once I told her she sheepishly moved away as her eyes glanced back and forth to see if anyone was looking.

Next it was over to Mr. Toads Wild Ride, and a wild ride it was. There was a line but the wife passed the time by striking up a conversation with everyone within earshot as she is wont to do. We completed the ride without incident and I got up and exited the building. I turned around to ask the wife what she wanted to do next and surprisingly (OK, I wasn't that surprised) she was not behind me. I waited patiently thinking she stopped to talk to someone only to find there was an even better reason for her disappearance. After I stepped out of the car, the wife leaned on the restraining bar to push herself out of the seat. In doing so, she pushed the bar back down into the locked position, trapping her as the car started moving again. I only wish I could have seen the look on her face. They had to stop the whole ride to get her out.

Soarin' Over California
On to California Adventure and the Soarin' Over California ride. Standing in line we saw a short video which showed how to store any carry on items and how to fasten the seat belt on a child. We entered and got to our seats but the wife couldn't find the stow away pocket. Once she did she was having trouble fitting everything into it because she had enough crap with her to survive in the wilderness for three weeks. A 'flight attendant' came over to see if he could speed up the process but was unsuccessful as many of the passengers were now turning to look at us.

She finally packed up, sat in her seat and promptly began trying to affix the child restraint to her seat belt. She pulled and pushed and twisted and turned all to no avail. Suddenly another rider yelled out "That's just for children!" Undaunted, the wife replied "No, I saw it in the video!" Now a second 'flight attendant' approached and everyone on the ride was staring at us. It was like some freaky dream. We eventually got the seat belt on and the ride began. "Wheeeeeee" she said, swinging her legs back and forth as we took off. Wheeeee indeed. The wife has a way of making a ride more than a ride.

Some days later we went to the movies and sat at the end of the row. When the movie ended, a couple who had been sitting in the middle stood up and began to walk toward us and the aisle. I stood up to leave but the wife continued sitting and told the couple to go ahead so she wouldn't be rushed. The couple politely insisted but the wife refused and said she wasn't leaving. After the couple passed I looked at her with one eyebrow raised. Thinking back to the zoo bus fiasco she looked at me with all seriousness and said "I'm not falling for that one again." The funniest part being that she didn't even realize the pun.

Daughter Shorts
The kid got to throw out the first pitch at the Angels game. Very cool!
On The Field At The Big A
Throwing The First Pitch

Waving To The Crowd

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