Ode to Children

A look and a smile and a sideways glance
Leads two people into budding romance
Dating, engagement and finally marriage
It's their first steps towards a baby carriage

A hump and a bump and nine months later
Out comes a baby from the incubator
A boy or a girl it doesn't really matter
There's going to be trouble with the former or the latter

Let's look at both, let's say we had twins
One girl and one boy, a her and a him
He comes out first, she comes out late
A typical woman on her first date

The babies come home, the family's abuzz
Now nothing will ever be as it was
So happy, so joyous, such good times ahead
Hold on, not so fast, read on my dear friend

At night time their crying may at first seem random
But they've worked out a plan and they're crying in tandem
One cries while one sleeps so they're getting their rest
While you sleep for one, maybe two hours at best

The babies are hungry, it comes time to feed them
Mom looks down at her breasts, then reaches up to squeeze them
They're huge now, at least twice their original size
Dad approves, you can tell by the look in his eyes

Time for the diaper change, should be a breeze
We clean and we change her and and do it with ease
You clean up the boy but look out when he goes
That thing flies around like a loose fire hose

Take my advice and make sure you use Pampers
Those used dirty diapers really smell up the hamper
The side of the box states up to 20 pounds
They don't hold nearly that much, at least that's what I've found

Let's move on and move up to the terrible twos
The temper tantrums, the crying and the little attitudes
For the boy it's a preview of his adolescence
For the girl it's a preview of a monthly presence

Now much of the time the kids are quite loud
They're walking and talking cause mom's taught them how
Why then, so often, when they get up to try it
Does mom say "Shhh, sit down and be quiet!"

Mom drops off the kids, it's the first day of school
Now she knows why silence is the golden rule
She gets back to the house and hears nothing at all
It's so quiet and peaceful, you can hear a pin fall

A look and a smile and a sideways glance
Mom looks at dad and says "Not a chance"
Two is enough, we don't need any more
As dad slowly closes the bedroom door